Author Archives: ilovelifeforever

When it is too much

Complaining no matter how valid it is, is still a negative thing, promotes a negative feeling and prevents one to see the good things and hinders one to solve one’s real problems.

I just found myself complaining too much. It started first with a harmless complaint that seemed valid and then it got bigger then I complained more. And before I knew it I was complaining even to simple things. It was hard to tell myself to stop so I have to unload my thoughts on my diary. I have to free my mind of too much thinking.

After writing it down, there are actually lots to be thankful for, instead of complaining that I have to walk a kilometer long to get to my ride, I should be thankful because the weather is fine and I have strong legs. Instead of complaining that my mom nags a lot, I should be more thankful that I still have a mom and she’s healthy. Instead of complaining the numbing metro traffic, I should be thankful that I got home finally, alive, safe and in one piece.

There actually lots to be thankful for but it gets blocked by negativity brought by complaining too much.

Blameless

The priest’s sermon started with a story of a boy who grew up to be a menace to the society, who was sentenced to death by the state. 5 minutes before his execution, the judge asked him for his 3 wishes and he answered;

1. the boy asked the judge to look for his parents who are in the audience area and

2. ask his parents on whose fault is it that he was there

3. and judge it on whose fault is it anyways

A member of the audience to his execution lamented that the boy was a good boy. He just turned out that way because he was neglected by his parents.

The priest did not end his sermon and to be continued the next day. So church goers will have something to look forward to, the next day.

I was answering in my seat, though in whispers, I said it’s still the boy’s fault. He may be a good one but he destroyed other’s goodness and inflicted pain on his fellow. He can always blame his parents for what he had become but doesn’t he also have fault in his situation? It was his decision that led him to his state, why blame others?

The priest then almost blamed parents for what their children had become. If the child turned out good then the parents should be congratulated. If the child becomes a menace to society it’s the parents that should be blamed for it. He reasoned that a broken family produces no good child.

I disagree father. I strongly disagree. Most delinquents may come from broken homes but the molding of person’s character doesn’t come from the family alone, other factors also chip in such as environment, genes, friends, education and media.

For most parts of the sermon I was disagreeing. I disagreed when he complained that kids nowadays prefer to learn dancing or singing rather than memorizing prayers. Dancing and singing are also talents what’s wrong with that? A memorized prayer is good but I’d rather have a child who knows how to pray to God using their own words, after all, God hears the heart more than the mouth.

Huh… ang sama ko…

I was actually thinking of walking away, instead of acquiring good vibes during the mass I actually had the opposite.

I didn’t walk out, I just psyched myself that I was there because of God and not because of the priest and it worked.

Maintaining an apolitical account

I tried my best to keep my facebook account free from politics but my constant presence and easy access to social media prevented me from that. Last month’s election may be the most personal one, I have unfollowed at least 3 friends. Added two this month. I have a list of friend requests but I am suspending my approval on those requests after the president’s inauguration. Also, I would like to keep the number of my facebook friends minimal.

I vowed to keep myself from commenting or posting a status on my political views but I broke that one last night. No matter how tempting, I want my wordpress account neutral and only with good vibes.

So for now, I have to minimize my facebook time. I can’t totally stay away from it because I have to be constantly updated with my nephew.

🙂

Missing my friend

I missed real conversations with you.

I would love to check on you when my time permits but a thought of you mistaking that as an interest to buy an insurance annoys me. I missed our normal conversations together. Our chitchats, updates and chismisan. I missed those normal things we do. Your calls used to excite me because it would mean a get together but now it is different.

Other friend, the one that you were closed with also feels the same, she would love to hear from you, schedule a get together but a conversation about insurance also annoys her. Tsk

I’m glad you got my message that you were being pushy on me to attend one of your meetings on the spot and how disrespectful that is to my time.

I would love to have a barkada get together after other friend had a miscarriage but not this time. I think it will be better to have some distance.

😦

Project 365: Day 3

January 5, 2016

During these times I miss the wisdom of Ama (maternal grandfather).

When my father recalled a moment when he(my father), mom, Ama and uncle had a discussion more than a decade ago, Ama stood his ground, never tempted by the offer. He rarely raised his voice and that time he did. No matter what, no words can sway his decision.

I also remember that moment. I was near them, they were speaking in Pangasinense, I was eavesdropping, trying to decipher every word they say. I understood some. I did not with most of the words. I did not know what they were discussing about. But I did remember that moment.

The issue came back today, like a ghost haunting us. Looking back, my father and mother were glad they made that decision. That is to follow Ama’s advice. Understanding now what has transpired, I am glad and thankful that they did that decision. But I am most thankful of Ama, because he stood his ground and was firm in his decision. It was tempting, but Ama’s decision was grounded on values and principles. Today, we are reaping the good effects of that decision.

In this day and age, where verbal agreements are just contracts written on the sand. And material benefits have more grounds on people. May Ama’s spirit guide us in every decision we make, may we have his firmness and be reminded of the values and principles our forefathers have instilled in us. I pray that when that day comes for me to make a decision may I have Ama’s wisdom, to also give weigh on the values and principles instilled in me and think of its long-term effects and stick to it.

 

 

Project 365: Day 1

  1. Choose happiness
  2. Simplify
  3. Be thankful

I could not agree more with these reflections. I often hear and read the statement, “happiness is a choice,” but it was only recently that I have fully understood it and related it to my life. It is not seeing others’ miseries in order to see what is great in my life. But a decision to see the beauty in my life, in spite of its challenges, hardships and imperfections. There are still things to be grateful for. I choose to be happy instead of being resentful. I choose satisfaction over discontentment, I choose to appreciate instead of complaining. I choose peace instead of being bitter. I choose to be positive instead of seeing the negativeness of my surroundings.

These past Christmases, I always felt sadness and emptiness and I would always compare my adult celebrations of Christmas with my childhood celebration and I would always find myself complaining and seeing only the nothingness of it. Then a sudden realization just last Christmas, it came like a random stone falling from the sky and it hit me hard. I have been seeing it all wrong. I failed to see what’s in front of me all these years. I was choosing all these years to see the empty cup instead of the gifts I was given all these years. Instead of seeing that I have a family and close relatives to celebrate with, food to cook and share with everyone, games to play and gifts to give, I chose to feel sad and empty. It was because of me all this time. Only last year, upon my realization, I finally chose to be happy and thankful for what I have.

 

 

Happy New Year everyone! 😀 ❤

Thinking Outloud

Thinking outloud, my thoughts, unloading and destressing my mind, my sort of spa, afterall, it’s been a while.

Warning:

– this post may contain contradictions, afterall, life is about contradictions.

– this is a long read, you are free to click back or close tab anytime

– this post contain Tagalog words and sentences ( I may and may not include                                   translations)

– things may not be in order

-the “you” pertains to me (the writer), as I was imagining to be talking to myself

My Random Musings

1.     Have you ever worked out and suddenly you are into a new routine, then the muscles you rarely worked on, started to manginig (tremble). These are your muscles’ way of telling you hey this is a new routine and I am suddenly used.

This is how I get angry. I can count on my fingers the times I get angry, seldom. Grabe ang nginig ko (I couldn’t believe my tremble) it was like a dormant volcano erupting, with aftershocks! My tremble lasted for hours, I couldn’t control it. It was not my intention to get angry as I was just stating my point then the other party took it as an argument, I wasn’t even arguing and couldn’t care less who wins it, as long as I said my point. Did the other party got my point? No.

That’s why…

2. Don’t waste precious time, energy and muscles on getting angry. Never immortalized anger, remember nakakatanda! Avoid calling names, as soon as the intense emotion waned let it go.

3. But it’s okay to be angry but let it out of your system as soon as possible.

4. I never knew kpop could relax my nerves, although I cannot understand the lyrics the beat somehow calmed my nerves. Also massaging my face in a circular manner helped loosen my stiff facial muscles. Do it as soon as possible, a stiff face may add lines, dali! (Hurry) Masahihin na!

5. I don’t like to use the word obsess but I couldn’t think of any word that best describes this. I’m so obsessed right now to the lines on my face. I used not to worry about it five years ago and find those anti-aging products a bit absurd. Then, I saw lines on my forehead and it reminded me of my grandfather, oh my! And regretted the times when I was too tamad (lazy) to put moisturizer on my face.

6. I miss wordpress, I ommitted ed on miss because though I am writing on it now, I still miss it, it was out of my system for a long time and now I want to reintegrate it.

7. I miss writing.

8. Speaking of writing, it’s planner season once again. And I have realized that I no longer like the planner format that I used to like, it no longer suits my needs.

9. I’ve have been writing my expenses for years now but only last 2014 that I actually had a summary report on it and the results were surprising (it was shocking).

10. I was not the person that I believed I was. I thought I was frugal, self-disciplined on spending pero hindi (but no). The summary exposed that I am an impulsive and emotional spender. Huh? I couldn’t believe it at first but what was done was done. It figures everything.  … nuf said.

11. If spending habits are not changed it will be a catastrophe.

12. There are now three notebooks in my bag, the weekly planner (for instant reminder), expenses notebook and mind notebook.

13. Please I have to write on them religiously.

14. I have been wanting to travel and I am encouraged to but I can’t stand airplane rides and the recent aviation events are not helping me overcome my fears. I could not imagine  now how I got through my plane travels before. Sis said kasi dapat nagpapapractice ako, but my practices then were of no help. So in short, takot akong sumakay sa eroplano, I used to ask for my seatmate’s hand during take-off, let’s hold hands please. Nakakahiya, it was not my first time, but I am always like that during flights.

15. I get motion sickness everywhere, not just on airplanes. Whenever I travel and I move a bit uncomfortably I would feel dizzy, so I don’t move at all.

16. There’s no such thing as free lunch, if the offer was too good to be true, be wary

17. I was asked a question if I am confident if I will go to heaven in the after life. I said no, not because I don’t believe in God.   I said no, because  I believe that there is God, sino ba ako para pangunahan Siya? I believe my God is a loving God, He’s someone that I cannot lie to, iniisip ko palang alam na Niya? I know He answers my prayers hindi nga lang directly kasi kikilabutan ako pag ganon, but He answers it through people.

18. I believe in good works but doing good in exchange of something hindi, dapat kapag gumawa ka ng mabuti yung bukal sa kalooban. Do it with sincerity and never expect anything in return

19. Same also to doomsayers, even 500 years ago every time that there’s a catastrophe they say that the end is near, but none of us know when. Who are we to know? Sino tayo para pangunahan Siya? I know it could be tomorrow, next week, next year , next decade. Nobody knows so stop assuming that you know.

20. I believe that in order to live well, one must have compassion.

21. The words of pope Francis continue to linger in my head, “if you lose your ability to dream, you lose your ability to love.” It struck a cord in me. And I ask, how do I dream again? How?

22. If the other party could not handle the truth, don’t worry it’s not your fault.

23. But be careful with your truths, some truths can hurt

24. If you don’t like what’s being said, don’t shoot the messenger, it’s not their fault

25. Life is too short to be stressed

26. Writing down what I eat made me also realize that I am still a picky eater…

27. I have a recurring event that keeps on playing on my head, it was back in college when our college rector, Fr. Lucio Guittierrez, visited our class and in the middle of his talk he approached me and told me to smile. I’m too young to worry. Smile is the greatest thing in the world.

28. It is because when we smile, we can turn the world around us, and somehow invite positivity and stop negative vibes from lingering… I wish I listened to him more, I wish that I approached him more.

29.When feeling blue, and feeling a bit negative nakakatulong ang pagpapaganda. Kasi bad mood ka na nga tapos panget ka pa, panget pa suot mo, kung may bago kang nakilala eh di yun ang first impression nila sa iyo.

30. Move on, oo agad!

31. Peace is priceless and the hardest thing to achieve in this world

32. At dahil diyan wag ka ng dumagdag sa mundo tungkol sa kaguluhan instead practice inner peace.

33. the Mamasapano incident will not be this big if the president did not fail to attend the Arrival Honors ceremony.

34.The first time I cried while watching the news was five years ago, and it was about a massacre in Maguindanao where 50 plus innocent lives were taken.

35. The second time, was just a month ago.

36. I could not imagine life without prayer, or reflection

37. If by nature man is by nature good or bad? I would like to think that by nature he is good since he was made in God’s image and likeness. I still have hope in humanity (good thing hindi pa pala nawawala yun)

38. But I could be untrusting with people especially here in the metro (Metro Manila) where you must be on guard at all times.

39. I recognize and acknowledge other people’s beliefs, I also have mine and have no intention of imposing it to them and expect them to do the same.

40. I wish that I was there where pope Francis was during his visit pero okay na rin yung nakita ko siya sa TV, one with us

41. Aside from peace, a good sleep is also priceless

42. If you have no control of it, stop worrying

43. Worrying in your sleep is unhealthy, you have 16 waking hours to do that don’t do it when you’re about to sleep.

44. Change is the only constant thing in this world, if you can’t handle it, the world will not stop or wait for you to be able to adapt.  Kaya nga may term na, napaglumaan na ng panahon (can pertain to both thing and person)

45. Wala kang magagawa obsolete na ang tape recorder.

That’s it for now.

Over Hyped

There is so much buzz about this bakeshop, people say that their version of Mango Torte is heavenly and to die for, one will forget one’s name after tasting it, said one of the reviewers. It got me curious and even thought of buying one for my mother’s birthday but travel stress and time prevented me so I just sorted to my favorite bakeshop, Contis. The other day the mall that I frequented to, had a Sweet ______ Fair (I did not catch the second word), and the bakeshop had a booth. I was able to taste the “famous” Mango Torte, for a tenth of its size and price.

It was normal.

It was exactly how my sister described it when I asked her about the cake. A frozen mango in between a white icing and a crust. Though I like the crust, it tasted familiar, like crushed biscotti biscuits, but I’m not so sure.

As for my mom, she liked it — but she likes anything mango! Well except for the clothing store. Hehe

—

The experience reminded of a bakeshop in the South, it was popular, people who have gone to that place swore that their cakes were heavenly, it was a must visit to anyone who goes there.

Then there we were. Me, my sister and brother-in-law.

I don’t remember all the details but I do remember the feeling of being thankful that I ordered coffee. It’s not that their cakes were bad, it was just not unique enough that would make me want to come back and look for it.

—

There was an interesting discussion on a friend’s facebook page. He asked in his post what was so special with clothing store brands F, U and the most recently opened H.

I know F, it has been around for quite awhile now. I have known F in the early days when the largest denomination in my wallet was just a hundred, it was just a so so brand then, it wasn’t even popular. Then, it was relaunched and re-marketed as a high end brand. There was nothing special about it when I visited a F branch after its relaunched. However, I like their sizing preference it doesn’t scream huge even when it’s huge.

As for U, I visited it when it was recently opened and it confused me. I didn’t get what was so special with it, it was so basic. There were lots of winter clothes and it made me doubt if I were still in a tropical and humid country. But after reading a rave comment from a U fan in which she bragged having bought 6 pairs of footsies for only Php 195 it made me react Whoa! And made me re-check the U branch near me. It was still the same for me but I finally got, that they do surprise Sales on random items on random days and their fans knew that and made people come back. There’s always something to look forward to in U.

Lastly, for H, I will just wait for H to open a branch near me.

As for my clothing preference, if these hypes will affect me or with my recent discovery of U will affect my preference. Nah, it’s still the same,  I still refuse to pay regular price for a piece of clothing.

—

I am and I will never be the type of person to follow a hype like a religion, if I like it, I like it and not because others around me like it.

Practice Makes Perfect

It has been a long time since I have blogged and I find it hard to have my thoughts materialized into words. I used to just open wordpress, hit new post then type on the spot but now, I get lost in my own thoughts. I feel like a picture, out of focus, or there were too many focus points when I just have to concentrate with only one. This is what I get (I guess) by mindless browsing, that is facebook browsing. argh!